Monday, April 25, 2016


I over think everything, I know this about myself. Yesterday it all just hit me a storm.

Now I am not a jealous person, I don't believe in it. I almost lost good friends because of jealous partners and I vowed I would never be that person.

But he was invited to a party. He has this old roommate that he had a thing for and goes and does roommate things with her and another old roommate. Thats fine. Except this was a party? Why wasn't I invited? I invite him to all the parties I get invited to?! What is crazy is I am meeting two of his closest friends this coming month, going to a wedding with him in New Mexico, and meeting his parents in Colorado, oh and he's moving in!!

So why in the world is this one girl bothering in me? I have met the one roommate but not her......

Ugh I don't know. Then that spirals into other horrible thoughts.

I tried talking to him but the minute he asked me if it was about her I freaked and thought NO NO NO I don't want to be this girl. I couldn't do it.

being open and honest with someone about your feelings in general or about a certain situation feels relieving and good when you’re met with  respect, love, tenderness, and validation. it can be incredibly hurtful and damaging when you aren’t. I hope that you’re always met with the love & respect you deserve

and I think that I have been met with a lot of the not and it has nothing to do with him. Really none of this has to do with him and its just all my head and twisted thoughts so what does talking about it with him going to do except make me seem crazy?  I don't know I guess I am still learning.

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