Saturday, September 26, 2015

Solid advice

To me, that’s the end all, be all. Would I want the qualities this man has for the closest women in my life? If my best friend were telling me about the things he does, what would I think?

my grandma asked me "does this guy treat you right, thats all I care about" I said yes and thought but what kind of question is that most the times we don't see when someone doesn't treat us right so even to grandma's question I would say yes. 

I guess when you start seeing a guy ask yourself if your best friend was dating a guy who did the things he did would he approve. 

One of the things I view as a good sign with my current guy is I often find myself going "My bestie would love you, she would approve" 

So I guess you can ask yourself these bestie questions. 

Taking a break in a relationship

This isn’t junior high school. If you have issues, you work at it as a team and fix them, or you part ways if it’s not something you want to work at. There’s no in between. There’s no such thing as breaks. The whole concept has never made sense to me and it’s just a pathetic way of saying “let me be single for a bit but keep you on the back burner just in case.”

Renting from the Rents

I have lived out on my own since I was 18, while it has been a huge struggle with roommates and the crazy world of L.A. (and that 6 months of couch surfing) I feel lucky that I can because I have disabled friends who are capable of moving out but their family won't let them.

One friends parents actually said if she ever gets married the guy has to move in with them!


its also become a trend that younger people get married and then live with their parents.

I understand that maybe some Benefits of this maybe if they have kids or if one has no job. Sometimes its hard to move out due to debt or criminal/rental histories. Some ppl choose to live with parents to take care of them. 

But I think its important to try and gain some independence from that and focus just on your marriage for a year. I lived with married couples and it was always a terrible idea, I ended up pissing off the wife and getting kicked out. 

No doubt it’s hard to move out, it’s hard to get established, I get it. If they are happy then that’s great. guess what I question now is, Why put time and more importantly money into a wedding when you aren’t even ready to live on your own yet? My disabled friend is going to go from her parents taking care of her to maybe a husband when she is capable of doing so her self. Not wishing them ill will, I just don’t get it, that’s all. 

I need to remember

as this blog can probably tell you my dating history has not been the best so its easy for me to get scared of getting hurt when something is going well.

I think I just have to take a deep breath do the best that I can and let the chips fall where they may.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Lesson Learned

I have this terrible habit (its a defense really) when dealing with a guy that I want to say it, I want to know its coming, I don't want to get my hopes up....because I know its going to happen.


"Your just here to hit and quit it"

Once I came out of this guy I was seeing shower and asked where to put the towel I had just used. He replied with that my DNA was already all over him so he could use the towel again.

and I said

"well you know for the next girl you have over she'll want a clean towel"

Your right he said and took the towel and put it in his dirty laundry.

Really I am only hurting myself by saying these things.

Now I find myself dating someone who does it as well, honestly we are doing this to each other.

It hit me last night when he asked me if I was sending something to another guy that my first thought wasn't to go "No baby there is no other guys its just you" (probably what I was stupidly hoping for all those other times) My thought in reading that was oh he is telling me to see other guys....

Now to be honest my Bestie had already told me that is what happen when I am saying these things is that it comes across as "I'm not serious about you" but walls are hard to break down my friends.

So I've learned my lesson and even if I am not the only girl in a guys life I am sure as hell going to thing and act like one because our thoughts are very powerful things.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


I think this has happened to me so many time that I just now wait for it to happen. Its been 2 weeks now and things are going well. We've even talked about doing things in October but I think I still keep waiting for it happen. For him to realize he wants something else or that I am annoying or something.

I wonder when I will be able to breathe and just enjoy.

I don't think this has anything to do with me as I think I am pretty great and who wouldn't want to be with me but despite how great I am and that I can this about everything 

I just don't know what it is. We just don't click I don't know, does anyone?

Caring about people is always scary so I guess all I can do is enjoy myself and try and not overthink it. 

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Things are going well

things are going great and I can't even count how many dates we've been on. Its been two weeks as of yesterday but we both agreed on the drive up to the Griffith Observatory it feels like longer.