Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Really with Seth, Amy, and ME!

I read this piece online today and thought it would make for a good topic of discussion.

HOW did you get a boyfriend? I'm almost 18 and I weigh 14 stone 2 pounds (5 foot 3). I hope this isn't offensive, but I think you weigh more than me/are fatter and you have an adorable boyfriend and I can't even get anyone to look at me. I've never been on a date or kissed anyone or anything. I've literally had a guy turn me down because I have a "cute face" but "I'm big enough to be the girlfriend of 3 guys" where did you find hiiiimmm???

I get that you’re trying to not be offensive, but like..asking someone how they got a boyfriend is implicating that no one could ever possibly find them good enough to date them?  That is actually incredibly offensive.

First you have to get over the idea that fat is inherently negative and that it makes you less worthy of finding love or a partner - and also stop projecting that onto other people who are fat/in relationships.

Some people are assholes - like the one you mentioned.  Some people just have preferences for thin people and aren’t dicks about it.  The thing is that there is such a vast amount of different people on this earth and it’s absurd to believe that they all like and want the same thing.  That goes for what people want in a partner, too.  There are people who prefer fat people.  

I met Foxy on tumblr, but I’ve had numerous boyfriends prior to him.  This isn’t my first rodeo.  I can’t really tell you how I ‘got him’ because I got him by just..being myself? My fat wasn’t something that he had to overlook or get over.  He doesn’t love me in spite of me being fat.  I am fat, beautiful, and just fucking awesome..and he gets that.

Own who you are, do things that you like, and don’t settle for people who make you feel like you have to make up for being fat.  Also, please don’t ever send this ask to anyone else.  I’m in a place where it’s not going to effect me, but not all people are at the same place that I’m at and the way you worded this was just..awful.  Also, connecting with people online is sometimes easier.  

Seriously this question always irks me a bit. It also can go for people with disabilities or anything really.  It boils down to “I think whatever is bad, but i think YOUR whatever is even WORSE! How did you trick a thin/abledbodies/whatever/conventionally attractive guy into seeing past your hideous feature and like you?!” 

It may not be the intention of the asker to say this, but it’s what is being said regardless.

Not to mention… “where did you find him?” Like you had to embark on a long journey for months, scouring the planet, finding this secret village of partners who miraculously accept this “gross” body… and now, it’s your mission to spread the news so everyone can pick one up for themselves….. finally solving their self esteem issues.

I just set up a large rabbit snare in the woods, and put comic books, coffee, and an extra cheesy pizza in the center, and that’s how i caught my dream man. 

Don't be an asshole everyone deserves love and as my aunt always says there is a lid for every pot. 

Don't be an asshole everyone deserves love and as my aunt always says there is a lid for every pot. 

also don't be shocked when your friend is dating someone based on looks or whatever. My First love everyone was like ew he's gross or he is too tall for you, WHAT DO YOU CARE!!! It does't matter. 

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