Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Not being into your online date doesn't make you shallow

I had a larger fellow message me last night and I checked out his profile and it we just didn't have anything in common, I also felt no interest, and his message was filled with typos.

Side note one thing I hate about Okcupid is most people use it as a app so then they don't want to type out a long message or their out correct changes braid to bread. I always use it on my computer because I want to make sure I send out a nice message.

anyways he writes back saying its because he's fat right?

I have dated a few bigger guys, most wanted to lose weight and become fit and I would always say I like you the way you are but I want you to be happy and if thats what makes you happy then I support you. How about its because you didn't write much on your profile (another post on that to come soon)

Elite Daily posted an article today with the headline “Hot Girl Wears Fat Suit on Tinder Dates to F*ck with Shallow Guys.” The article includes a video, produced by Simple Pickup, wherein a stereotypical hot girl dons a double chin and a belly suit to meet Tinder matches for the first time. All of her Tinder profile pictures are obviously fat-suit-free so when these guys show up, they are all taken aback by how different she looks. Some guys try to be cool about it and ask, “so uh, how long ago were your profile pictures taken?” Some are not so cool about it. One even asks her, “Are you pregnant?"

The article says that this little experiment "teaches us all a valuable lesson about just how easy it is to lie on the Internet." 
Is that a valuable lesson or more of a "no shit” moment? Of course it’s easy to lie on the Internet. Just because something is easy doesn’t mean we should do it.
I think this video is stupid. They also did one with a guy in a fat suit meeting female Tinder matches. That video is also stupid.
We need to put the fat suits away and stop pretending like we aren’t all a bit shocked and angry when we show up to a first meeting and the person across the table looks nothing like their profile pictures. This does not make us shallow. This makes us normal.
I also take issue with the whole fat suit thing and have ever since Tyra Banks was all, “I spent a day in a fat suit and I was so sad and cried a lot because people were mean to me” years ago on her talk show.
It’s no secret that being overweight sucks in general and that society as a whole is trained to be kinder to people who conform to aesthetic standards dictated by pop culture. Do we really need to put skinny people in fat suits to figure this out? No. You know what is a secret (kind of)? That people who aren’t super thin actually lead fulfilling lives and have healthy and fun relationships and go on cool first dates and make great first impressions. What suit can we make shallow skinny people wear to get that through their heads?
Profile pictures reign supreme in online dating. It’s the one thing EVERYONE pays attention to. Like it or not - this is how it works. When we agree to meet someone in person, chances are it is not 100% based on their vivacious personality and ability to send a complete message. It’s because we can picture ourselves having sex with them. Or want to. Or something.
I mean well I check for personality but also I need to feel attracted to your photos too, I mean and I guess that is where online dating wins this round because I would no nothing of your personality if you approached me a bar and would base my first impression on face. I make sure to have updated photos and photos showing my canes.  It happens a lot where a guy will message me and I soon know its based on my photos alone and so when I tell them something to check out on my profile I am 90% sure they actually see where I state my disability and then move on. So its not just me doing it and I try really hard to base off personality as much as I can, but lets face it physical attraction is important as well.
You know what I mean.
I also skip past the dude who could be too hot or showing ab photos....I don't even take the time to read those profiles so in my world you win because at least I read your profile. 
(this guy loses both rounds in the my dating world game) 
anyways back to this fat suit thing....

Posting pictures that are not an accurate representation of what you actually look like is just not fair to anyone, including yourself. 
I’ve been on a lot of bad first dates but the worst of the bunch were always when a guy showed up looking very different from his pictures - whether he was fatter/skinnier/taller/shorter/had blond hair rather than brown etc…. didn’t matter - what mattered is he wasn’t what I had signed up for and because of that, he wasted both of our time.
Unfortunately, it happens a lot. For this very reason, I started only planning dates at locations within walking distance to my house so that if I showed up and the person wasn’t what I expected, I could choke down one drink and then GTFO and be in stretch pants sharing the story on here within 15 minutes.
 “Time is our only currency. Don’t fucking waste it.”
I wasn't impressed by you larger guy for much more then the number on your scale. So I didn't want to waste our time.....and the moral of this story kids is: 
Don’t waste other people’s time.
Don’t waste your own time.
And please, for the love of god, don’t put on a fucking fat suit and film it for any reason.

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