Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Just Because I Have A Disability Doesn't Mean I Have To Date Guys With Disabilities Too

This was something I never really thought about until college because there really wasn't any other physically disabled people in my town. As much as I hate the town sometimes it really has made me who I am today.

Then it college I was slapped in the face with it. The couple both in a wheelchair. They didn't even live together because they couldn't be away from their caregivers who were family who didn't approve of their relationship.

Then I met "30 year old disabled guy" whose probably 40ish now but when we give you a name its forever.

I went to a college that was mostly all hills and I liked the work out, which has pretty much been my life motto, its probably a good work out for me.

They had trams that would take you were you needed to go but never did I use them. At this point I would carpool with a friend to school and she would stay in her car and I would head down the hills to the spot where my friends were in front of the theatre. Most everyday the tram guy would stop and ask me if I wanted a ride and I would politely decline.

Then one day he says my friend in the back really wants to meet you why don't you hop in and get some coffee. I was sure that I wasn't sure but I guess I gave in because I got in and found myself sitting with this guys at a coffee shop.

as we walked there his friends shouted "look their racing" yeah okay I don't need that in my life. We talked and it was horrible from the get go from him talking about his ex and how she messed him up to the struggles of being disabled....My least favorite conversation topic. I finally told him I had to go to class and he insisted on walking with me (it was an hour before my class) he was also a lot slower then me which is hard to believe as most think I am slow (see Gingers don't date each other). Luckily a women's bathroom was next to the class I would be going to (in an hour) and I went in there and cried in the stall. That was what I was meant to date?

I had a few run ins with him after that and phone calls "I can't do things with wrestling I'm disabled"

"I want to make out with you on Pirates of the Caribbean" No thanks

"When did you hate god for making you disabled" Never?

"I will shove my cane up any guys ass that you like before me" Classy.

Then a mutual friend of ours invited me out for Cold Stones Ice cream with a group, Sweet! at this point in my life I would of done anything for some cold stones ice cream. After that night not so much but I'll get to that.

I get there and there was the group with Disabled guy and well I walked in and they left. IT was a set up!!!

We got ice cream (I got the biggest one possible) and he paid which I wish wasn't the case and we sat and he went on and on and on about nothing I could care about. Also when I was in middle school the men's body spray Gravity was quite popular and when you would walk into a middle school dance the smell of gravity engulfed you and made you forget the sent of the wild berry body glitter lotion you spent a good 30 minutes putting on.

anyways he smelled like that. He smelled like a middle school boy and let me tell you Middle school boys still have a smell so that statement could still stand as a description for someone, and it ain't good.

I spent most of the time having to take care of him which is fine but weird.

Which leads me to this:

I really don’t understand why people tell people with disabilities “to date their own kind. You would never say something like that to someone of a different race or sexual orientation, so why are disabilities judged so harshly?? I've been told I am judging my own kind for not wanting to date the above guy but really if I met someone with a disability that I hit it off with of course I would give it a try, I just never met anyone that I did.  I have a disability - so what? at the end of the day we all have something we have to work through.  I would have so much in common with all types of people - A Musician, an dog lover, a binge watching things on Netflix and so many other things. Don’t judge me and tell me what I should  do based on ONE aspect of my life.

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