Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Things I have to worry about on a date.


while I would love to just focus on getting to know this person and having a great date there are some things when it comes to my disability that causes a bit more stress.


Escalators: This one came up recently so I guess this could be an ever growing list. I usually go on the hunt for an Elevator when these bad boys are in play but if I am with someone I am really close to they just take my hand and help me up, Disneyland is a place this might have to happen. While sure its nice excuse to hold someones hand I am putting a lot of trust in someone so maybe not the first day of meeting.

My first love and I decided to do all the people movers in Newark NJ airport and he was holding my hand and it was quite magical until some lady said "How nice of you to help your little sister" the pains of being short and dating someone 6'3.


anyways my last date where this came into to play we were going for drinks at a bar in Downtown and parked in a parking garage, we parked in the Disabled parking and so I had no question in my mind that there was probably an Elevator until as I stepped out of the car he said "I'm gonna go look for an Escalator"

"OH GOD, thats something I didn't think I would have to worry about" I thought. Thankfully I found the Elevators and we went that route. But since I am still pretty single doesn't mean this won't come up sometime in the future.

I'm very short and I think this causes more issues then anything else really. My roommate and are trying to think of how to invent a stool you can put in your purse. For example a little boost is all I need sometimes when I was taking care of my cousins my uncles bed was super high and my six year old cousin I would tell him to boost me up (hahahhahaha he's the best) and that was really all I needed.


Which leads us to the next two items, first of which: Bar Stools. This was even an issue when I'm not dating. The first time I went to a bar to meet my friends James for a birthday party I convinced my brother he should go in with me and just help me in the bar stools and I would buy him a drink (5 drinks later we were texting my mom "come get your drunk kids hahahaha) We also didn't need the barstools we moved to a table.


The next time I met James though he wanted to play darts with a group of friends which you had to sit in barstools. While James I am sure would of helped me in both situations (taking this friendship to a whole new level right?) My mom's good friend Claudia was at the table next to us and I had her help me. James did it once after she left and then we moved to a table.


Then the date where it came into play we had decided to go to a bar after and it was packed and the only table was in the back and the bouncer guided me to the only table while he went to the bathroom. The Bouncer tried to help me but couldn't so we asked this guy sitting alone at the bar (yeah that is what this has come to) and thankfully my date saw none of this.



Cars, I also check on high a car is because it could end up looking like this seal me trying to get in there.


This also effects what I wear if I have to climb in there monster truck I will wear pants and not flash them. If I have to climb a lot of stairs its flats and a dress easy to move in.



Coffee. I know right the most simple date in the world is a nightmare for me. Why you ask? You have to carry your own drink.

Even close friends to me don't realize they have to do this or even the person I live with. I then have to to awkwardly be like "could you just...yeah thanks" so asking someone who has never met you is a bit weird. Thankfully the one time I did do a coffee date you had to do this he was a nurse and understood he just grabbed it I didn't even have to ask. He also nicely moved all chairs out of my way so I wouldn't trip which he worried I would be mad about but I thought it was a nice gesture.

In an ideal world I could just be like:

Really lets just add any place where you have to carry your own drink.

Now the mother of having to carry your own cup is having to carry your own food.

This isn't super common on dates but two times its come up.

one was with my old roommate who was a total ableist and I was worried she wouldn't help but she oddly did. The back up plan was to ask a waiter.

My roommate mentioned that the magic castle has a buffet and when I told him my issue he said "well its a good test to see if he is helpful"

but I think its because dating a disabled person is so new to someone you want to show them more of what you can do and the can't do's can come later. I don't want them thinking on date one man I will have to do everything for this girl.

Needless to say nothing is keeping me from going to the Magic Castle I will get that food any way I can!

When I am on my own I order things in a to go container so I can stash them in my bag. Sometimes food workers will help and they are my favorite. I went for Ice Cream with a friend in a wheel chair and there was two workers and a huge line of people and we were struggling to get out the door and it was crazy hilarious.

If someone does have to carry something I often use the joke that I plan to go to India and spend a year learning to balance things on my head till that day comes though.

while it does have to cross my mind and scares me a bit, I guess if any of these do happen and its a deal breaker he isn't worth dating anyways


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