Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The scary world of online dating

I know that online dating can be scary especially if you have a disability but its just how we meet people now. 

Honestly it has it perks. 

For people who’ve never interacted with a person who is disabled, the first time can be intimidating and people tend to judge me (who thinks physical challenges comes with mental challenges)  by meeting online this way I can say "Hey look I've rock climbed, work a real job, and I am also sexy as hell" Exchanging a few flirtatious messages online, though, paves the way for a smooth first date.
also I can go through and be like oh they hate gay people well yeah we can't be friends if I were to meet someone in a bar it could take awhile to get to that. 

Its rough out there though so let me give you some tips! 

Don't Take it personally
If you’re doing the online thing, there’s no time to be hanging around with people you’re not interested in, better to just tell them and be grateful if someone does the same for you, don’t you think?
When someone rejects you, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just that you’re not right for them. It’s the same with job interviews, they’re not judging your worth as a person, they’re judging your compatibility for the job.
If you allow other people’s opinions to form the basis of your self-worth, you’ll be miserable and confused your whole life, like the cliched celebrity who has everything they want then self destructs because they realize it’s all a lie.
Your self-worth and confidence is your responsibility, you cannot control what happens to you, your circumstances or how people treat you. You can only control the way you react to your situation.
If you’re disabled, the reality is you probably are going to get rejected for it at some point because not everyone will want to deal with it. That’s their problem, not yours. It’s no different than if you have an obsessive hobby, obscure fetish, weird personality trait or frankly, an ugly face – you’re just not right for some people.

But focus on the good things, here is an example: 

Start with a great opening line and some things you love 

 I adore  laughter, books, honesty, music, curiosity, the beach, leisurely conversations about everything, food, travel, A good board game night

I am person that has a disability but isn’t wholly defined by it. It’s there, it is part of me and my life but there is also so much more to me.

and go from there. 

I know a lot of people say wait till you start talking before dropping the disabled bomb
“dropping the D-bomb.”
 “I always disclose my disability right away in my profile and photos,” Just like  you would want to know if a potential date has a messy divorce-in-progress if someone has kids or only does open relationships or just looking for sex, This girl  feels that disability is an important fact that potential partners should know from the beginning. 

I should tell them about my Disability?!?!?! 

There is someone who is going to love you for you. Plus it  gives you a lot to worry about when to tell them peoples reactions are not always great. You should be someone who likes you for you all of you and if this is a deal breaker for them let them move on. Its their loss anyways. 

I would also say let people ask you questions and yes you'll have to answer some dumb ones but chances are they've never thought of dating someone with a disability and so if you want to give them a shot you have to help them see why they should give you shot (you'll get a lot of sex questions of course) 

A day running errands in public can involve multiple strangers asking invasive questions about your body and abilities. The anonymity of the Internet, however, gives the curious a new kind of boldness.

Since there are 1 billion people with disabilities around the world, it should come as no surprise that a plethora of disability-specific dating sites exist. Phrases like “Find your disabled soul mate!” and “Playing disabled cupid” are sprinkled across websites like DisabilityDating.com and Dating4Disabled.com. While there are apparently hundreds of registered users on these websites

IF your nervous try that but its not my thing I don't want to limit myself. I  feel that my disability doesn’t—or shouldn’t—limit me  to dating only people who have disabilities also. While society might view a physical difference as one big “Other” sign tied to  backs,  I merely view it as a small part of my identity.On other dating sites I find disabled people do seek me out and its usually for support 
"Hey hows it going on here for you" 

After mocking ClownDating.com, for instance, is a singles community for professional clowns, aspirational clowns, or people who just find clowns sexy. And for those ’80s kids who long for the days of “business in the front, party in the back,” MulletPassions.com exists to my best friend she said "there is a place on the internet for everyone. 

You  my loves are worthy of finding love!!! 

and no matter what happens out there 

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