Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The things that help us get by

I just miss talking to him so much. Does he miss talking to me?

I know he said he's beating himself up right now, I believe he is but sometimes I wonder if he really is. Did he really care? When my mind doesn't wonder to the scary places I hope he remembers this, I hope he thinks of the good times.

I am sad about the way it ended. I was blindsided. But I look fondly back on our time together and will never regret it. Would I go back and do things differently? sure. But I can't do that so no regrets!

This is so hard. I miss the way you smiled at me. I missed the way you were so gentle and kind. Our playful banter with each other. I miss that I could tell you anything. I miss the way you looked at me, you saw me really saw me, you Listened you really listened. I miss it all.

You built me up so high. Then you left. Do you still feel that way? were you just scared?

One friend says its just my head thinking about him but could there be signs? I mean what are the odds that the house I look to rent has the same car? Or that Access keeps taking me past his house down that freeway? Or that Green Lantern would be on HBO. I wish I knew what you were trying to tell me signs.

I can never hate him. Even for breaking my heart. He was being honest.

I hope one day we can come back to each other.

No comments: