I’ve just watched a relationship that I truly believed was so caring and resilient, crumble in front of my eyes. There was nothing I could do to change the way he felt, I couldn’t change the choice he made. I gave it all I could, but this time it wasn’t enough. It was just over, just like that. Yet knowing these blunt facts, I’m still haunted by the ‘what if’s?’ that expand my doubts.
Learning to block out these dangerously over-whelming thoughts and replace them with the acceptance that I’m never getting back what I had, hasn’t exactly been the healthiest or easiest journey. Nor has it helped lessened how absolutely drained and heart broken I am after this.
Good people leave, it happens. I’m learning that It’s not to make us weak but to instead strengthen us. These people walk out on us to allow better people to take their place. To fill in all the gaps the previous person wasn’t able to fill.
I don’t know how long it’ll take or how many hit and misses I’ll experience before this better person makes himself apparent, but I do know that when he does I’ll be happy that I made the choice to endure this pain they call ‘moving on’ rather than holding onto the fake hope you led me to believe that maybe one day we’ll pick up where we left off.
Last August I had my first thoughts.
Only now I know how right I was.
This was , too good to be true.
And I’m glad.