For a week now I was trying to go to Portland to see this guy I thought I was in love with. He was there over Thanksgiving and I thought I would go and see him and know for sure. Well last night I found a ride that was leaving this morning (a bit last minute) but I was stoked. The more I started to plan though the less and less I was excited to go.
Well as plans started to be made, the house I was staying out turns out they were coming here and I could stay there but I would be alone. I didn't hear from any other friends (including this guy) so I was invited to Thanksgiving with a friend and that was her only day off and I could only hope that I would see this guy for like what an hour?
The big question became would it be worth it to be alone for 5 days to spend and hour with him. I started to think no.
in fact it started to become the guy I was getting a ride from (we go to church together but we never talk) was the only one excited that I was going so he would have company in the car. It also begain to seem like that was the only thing I was excited for and while sure that would be fun I don't think the five days alone would be worth that.
I guess now I can just hope that since "hey we are actully in the same town" we can hang out once he gets back, maybe I'll bake him something to say thanks. atleast now that is what I can hope for!
While I might feel like I gave up this chance I don't really. I think now I can finally move on, stop liking a guy I have been stuck on for 14 years. Because when I really look at it I want someone who seems to care and make just as much and effort for me as I do for them!
I am also dog sitting so I got to thinking if you are a person looking for love and it just hasn't come yet just get a dog they love you unconditionally!
I have big plans now to cuddle with dogs in bed while watching movies, sipping tea, and reading books!
I will spend Thanksgiving with people I know "Want" to spend time with me! I will wake up and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade my favorite Thanksgiving Tradition.
I will do my nails and make myself pretty and know that now maybe that I have stopped holding onto something for so long I can now move forward to that person that I will be spending my Thanksgivings with!