Tuesday, October 19, 2010
another Doc that got me thinking
Documentary movies good or bad always get me thinking, which of course is the point of them. I watched this one yesterday.
It was interesting to see that they really never live on their own, They shouldn't have kids which those kinds of things get me thinking.
I know that I would be a good mom. but I always wonder if I should be a mom.
while walking in my Neighborhood about a month ago i watched a mom carry here child down the street from the school i live by, and i thought I will never be able to do that, sure I can push them in a stroller, I can walk along side them, people will be there to help me but I will never be able to do that, and I wondered if that I was ok?
a week later from then while at the Doctors I watched a mother swing her child from her arms and thought once again I will never be able to do that, and while sure my husband could should I be really counting on him to do the things I am unable to do?
Then I wondered if it was really fair at all to even get married, to count on someone so much, to be limited. To count on him more then I should.
I would love nothing more to have a baby and spend my life with someone I love, but maybe its not right?
I never wished to be any different, I've never hated God, but I think its Normal that these thoughts cross my mind.
I think its normal that I get a bit sad sometimes
but I am a strong girl, I do things everyday that people didn't think possible!!!
I lived on my own for 8 years now and taken care of myself, I am sure I will find a way to make having a family work for me too!